The "F" Word

"Today's discussion is brought to you by the letter F."

Then. It was a tough neighborhood. We were tough to teach, tough to love and tough on each other. We knew the limits. We knew just how much misbehavior was acceptable, and just how much softness was tolerable. We kept each other in line.

Now. Business. Also a tough neighborhood. Nicer surface, more polish, similar awareness of tolerable speech. Some things are never said, some words never used.

Of late, the larger culture has been shifting – and the limits are drifting – expanding. We've seen more of the vernacular find its way into daily discourse. All but the "F" word. Where that's concerned, we all observe the niceties.

During the holidays, our thoughts turn to the eternal – to the disciplines, customs and philosophies that elevate the human condition. In this, of all times, we think the "F" word deserves sustained and appreciative consideration.

Forgiveness.

Try it out on yourself.

Enjoy it with your family.

Put it to work at the office.

Employ it in the community and the nation.

Consider bringing it out of retirement in human affairs.

Forgiveness is divine.

Enjoy a peaceful and soulful season! See you next year!

Editor’s note: we’re taking a few weeks off from publication. See you back here in mid-January!

That Human Potential S&#*

“Fluff or Substance? That is the question!”

- Floating Social Question

We've been careful over the years not to push our clients too far out of their comfortable corporate envelopes – after all, this is about business and about how to be more effective at it! But after thirty years of deep appreciation for the people who get up every day and turn the wheels of democratic capitalism, we think it’s high time to acquaint you with why Fusion has always seemed to be so succesful! To be blunt, it's about the difficult marriage of the extremes, the eternal union of the practical and poetic – the daunting combination of the granular with the great.

It's not just about the practical stuff, like "Ready, Set, Go!®" and the internal structure and pattern recogniton that make presentations – stories – easier to recall and repeat. It's not merely about the pretty stuff like making a presentation stick in the mind by adding a dramatic picture, or about building your own signature.

What makes Fusion really sink into the DNA of a successful client and become part of the "skeleton under the skin" is that slippery human potential stuff... the big ideas – like service to one's clients, team, family and community. Human beings are not just packages, not just analytical thinking machines; but miraculous composites of body, mind and spirit. We're not selling a religious brand here, but a simple recognition that a human being is something really special all by themselves – a little piece of the infinite wrapped up in a package accompanied by an appearance, a style and a personality – driven by an individual personal desire to accomplish something special. While we all want to survive, we're more interested in thriving – and enjoying the process. This is a fundamental plank in our approach to training and personal development. The "secret sauce;" that slippery human potential stuff— is baked into the product at Fusion.

It’s a touchy thing though. The minute you introduce a big idea – like the transcendent human spirit – to a discussion; the entire human potential parade of crazies, nuts and politicos are not far behind. One has to be careful with big ideas, so they don't run away with the practical results we hope to achieve in training. That's why Fusion has always been careful to pair every big idea with a practical tool for applying it in daily activity. A big idea without an application is merely fluffy. A tactical tool without a larger context is merely a “trick.” For example: an eye contact exercise is not simply looking at someone, but combined with a sense of how to look and whom to address it becomes more than an exercise. Eye contact then is not empty, not mechanical, but the doorway to a deep conversation. Truth is, every Founding Idea at Fusion is big, and potentially scary, unless you manage the discussions and keep returning to our basic discipline – it's about results.

Of course none of the big ideas are worth much if you simply talk about them for days on end. You have to put them into practice. So one notices that we are pushy, aggressive and demanding about getting people up in front of their peers to prove their competence through demonstration.

More than a few clients have lost track of the big ideas in their rush to get practical and go after sales results. They've extracted the granular ideas in our mix, and put them to work with machinelike dedication — never noticing that they also removed the greatness. They are out there, many of them mindlessly breaking every story into three boring and soul-less parts. Sometimes criticizing Fusion for no longer being magical...Hmmm…maybe there is something to the idea of mind, body and spirit. Fusion – dealing as it does with the whole human being – allows one to emerge from the miasma of dogmatic cynicism that tends to characterize a merely ‘balance sheet’ approach to business.

Fusion. If it were that easy, anyone could do it. But the real path requires a dedication and attentiveness to getting a mix of lofty and low just right... day after day. That's the hardest task of all. This stuff works because it harnesses the power of the perennial wisdom to the day-in day-out discipline of getting practical results – in our estimation that's why we’re all here! We think getting results in a classy, elegant and lofty way is about as good as it gets!

Personal Best

"Eighty percent of life is showing up!"

-Woody Allen
American humorist, director

Roger Bannister - First person to break the 4 minute mile barrier

There's a tribe of runners in our town – I live with one actually.

There's much discussion at Starbucks of the right recovery drink, the correct stretch to set the muscle up for a run, many arguments about the best combination of Lycra and wicking fabrics for runs that begin at 6:00AM in 70° heat and conclude at 88°... forget about the humidity.

What strikes me though, about this interesting subculture of daily commitment, is the startling lack of concern with win, place or show. Sure, everyone knows who the "players" are. Shannon, Lucy, Gigi are a pretty good bet to bring home the brass, but they will all be trading places between themselves and the elite runners from other towns who show up to compete. What is so much more powerful about this tribe of achievers is that they are showing up – doing it – day after day – no matter who wins.

They are not so concerned about winning or relative standing, but about being outside putting one foot in front of the other. Their big focus when competing is how near they came to their personal best – or how much they moved the bar. Consider then, it's not merely about showing up, but to be fully present in this moment and to shave some time from last week’s performance.

Hold that thought! Now consider the ordinary business week. Are we focusing on improving our skills as speakers, managers, leaders or communicators? Or are many of us just focusing on crossing items off the to-do list? Take yourself momentarily to the end of your career: will it be enough to say, "I got through a lot of meetings." Or would you rather be thinking, "I was engaged, I had the ball, personally moved the company forward five yards, improved my skills dramatically, and left a lot of people better for my presence in their lives."

Some Personal Best suggestions:

1. For You. It's difficult to improve everything at once. Pick a skill or a previous record and give it a week or two of intense focus. Start by establishing a Personal Best, and then go about improving on it.

2. For the Family. Get the partner, spouse, kids, spouse's kids, parents and in-laws engaged in the process too. Everyone needs to be reminded that life isn’t so much about accumulating years, but about capturing moments as well. Get the kids running, the spouse managing the logistics and the parents playing the cowbells alongside the course. (As First Cowbell Player at our house, I can testify to the impact of a “personal cheerleader” on the performance and happiness of the team. Everyone does better when someone is pulling for them!) Teach and demonstrate the behavior you want your family to manifest!

3. Take the practice to the office as well. Don't keep this a secret; let everyone on your team become involved too. It might start by letting athletics into the office environment. But it might be better still if your team exchanged areas in which they want to improve their business performance. Imagine, instead of working in individual silos, we convert our colleagues into teammates, coaches and cowbell ringers.

It's one thing – and a good one – to show up. That’s 80%. But coming with the intention and preparation required to improve on the personal best – now that’s the other 20% that raises the performance – and perhaps one’s entire life – to a whole new standard. Yes this is partly about athletics, but also about family, professionalism and applying one high standard of expectation to all these life domains – Fusion!

Giving Thanks

grat·i·tude

noun gra-tə-tüd

: the state of being grateful : thankfulness

Thank you for your business and continued interest.

Our best wishes to you and your family for a
Happy Thanksgiving.

With gratitude,

The Fusion Group

Be Still

"Being still, and not doing anything are two very different things."

- Mr. Han - played by Jackie Chan
The Karate Kid
2010

"I never learned a damn thing while I was talking!"

- J.E. Morrow
American Social Commentator
1920-1996

"The native state of a rational mind is a profound stillness - looking out."

- J.R. St. John

Everyone is talking! In 5.1 surround sound, on blogs, on their own private networks, shouting in the dark, in the streets, on WiFi at Starbucks, texting at the office, at school and in the car. Broadcasting! Everyone's talking... at once. And all of them dying to be heard... Or better – understood.

Who's listening?

Perhaps a few politicians ... the Winners – getting elected by responding to what they hear people saying.

Maybe a few inventors... Creating the tools to connect people in unprecedented ways.

A few bankers, creating services that allow people more freedom with their investments and more access to their accounts.

A few employers, who have discovered and embraced all the diversity which can expand and strengthen the workforce.

A few sales people, who can deliver more service, and more satisfaction – only when they discover what people really require.

A few designers, listening to the rustling of new desires and currents, and bringing them to light as products and tools.

But these few are on to something. The tide has turned. When everyone else is talking, it's the listeners who distinguish themselves. In years past, it was enough to be the first one speaking, later the one with the most elegant message. Today the secret is an engaged receptivity – stillness.

You may be smart, brilliant even – armed with the best talent, and incredible resources. Yet, you cannot achieve anything without your colleagues, the market, the people, the nation on your side. Such alliances do not form between people who are always talking. The hardest, and most important thing one person can do for another is to listen to and truly understand them. While many claim to be listening, they are in fact appearing to listen while doing something else. To "hear someone out" and then "grant them standing" is to recognize their presence in a complete and profound way. It is the foundation of successful partnerships, marriages and relationships of all stripes – and of course – of business and national alliances.

Successful relationships begin not with talk, but with the willingness to listen – signified by being still.

What exactly does that mean?

Well, it isn't being quiet while you think of what to say next. It isn't waiting your turn...

Being still: means “allowing both the outer and the inner voices to fall silent while concentrating entirely on the other person - not merely on what they're saying, but on what they feel and intend." When you start from stillness, you have the best shot at effective listening – on getting a clear understanding of the content, the desires and the attitude of the speaker – and of being able to see the world from her vantage point. You might accomplish it without looking. But you can't do it while talking, thinking or indulging split focus. You begin by being still and looking.

Advice for rediscovering the lost art of listening:

1. Turn off the toys.

2. Aspire to unbroken eye contact.

3. Shut down the internal noise and criticism. Just get (even duplicate...) what they are saying / intending.

4. When they run down, leave a respectful silence to validate completion, then acknowledge.

5. Now, think about it. What did they mean? This? That? Ask them to verify. When they smile, you know you’re on first base.

Ultimately, there's more to listening than words, speaking and duplicating what was said – although that alone is an excellent start. Listening may not really be about words at all. We suggest that the entire exercise is less about content and more about contact. When resting on a foundation of stillness, your listening practice can often allow you to penetrate deeply into the mind, heart and spirit of your partner – apprehending what they actually think, feel and believe... The words are just a path to that more substantial connection. It borders on the psychic – but then, maybe that's what such people are actually doing, being still and allowing the other person's universe to "seep quietly in..."

Whether it’s a cranky all-knowing teenager, a frustrated spouse, a work-mate with an upset, a foreign colleague with a cultural question or a boss with an assignment, all human beings are hungry, bordering on desperate to be understood. Pay attention to the words as a start, but begin out of stillness and prepare to be amazed – and amazing!

Be still, and learn.

Fear of the Deep End

"Everything should be as simple as possible, but not simpler."

Albert Einstein
Physicist, Nobel Laureate, Author










My adventures with water went like this: splashing, wading, breath holding, floating, kicking in the shallow end, then the Y and the dark fear of the blurry depths beneath the diving board. That one took time, but at some point, I found the courage and leaped in. "Don't stop, SWIM!” yelled the coach. Ah! The light dawned, and I was in motion. I swam, dived and proudly, became a Life Guard.

In my fascination with the pool, diving and the occasional daring rescue, I never noticed that the neighborhood kids had remained in the backyard; safely avoiding "the monsters of the deep.” I invited them to the pool – offering to teach even; but the pronouncement came back – "We can't swim!"

I wondered, "Does ‘can't swim’ perhaps mean, ‘Won't try?’"

Later on, during an ocean sail, I jumped over the side into the salty, cold, calm sea and with a shock and deep fear, realized that I was once again "out of my depth.” It's a long way down to a bottom you can’t see or even find. I conquered that fear as well, concluding that "swimming" is "what you do in water" – no matter what the depth.

Today I'm finding that as water has "depth," so too do ideas.

As a child, when the conversation went to "deeper realms," I ran out to play. But increasingly, the desire for substance led me to "wade in" and hang with the elders in discussions that were clearly "over my head," but I learned to "swim" in the "sea of ideas."

I've noticed of late, that when the discussion is of scores (or scoring), everyone wades in. But when the conversation gets deeper, it's "Everyone out of the pool!"

The requests (sometimes outraged demands...) come for a "simplification" – to make the content easier. "You guys used a term I don't get, a word I never heard; a reference I've never contemplated! How dare you? Make it simpler so I can understand it!" Perhaps they're saying, "I can't swim?” Or perhaps they’re saying, “I won’t try.”

While it’s reasonable and responsible to simplify; as Einstein said, “As simple as possible, but not simpler.” We believe the acquisition of knowledge is a two-sided responsibility – for both the teacher and the student to reach for a connection in the middle.

Certainly, the deep end is murky, but the added color, nuance, flavor and sophistication of deeper ideas makes pursuing them worthwhile. It can be scary to find yourself "in over your head.” Yet, sounding the "deep philosophy" is an adventure – which takes years of learning and practice "Hanging with the Masters."

I'm not Einstein. Yet it seems that both with water and ideas, the point is not to sit there, but to dive in and learn. Don't ask to make it simpler! Ask instead how you can become deep enough to understand.

Don't just sit there, SWIM!

Walking Your Talk

“The neck bone connected to the back bone,
The back bone connected to the thigh bone,
The thigh bone connected to the knee bone,
The knee bone connected to the leg bone,
The leg bone connected to the foot bone
Dem bones, dem bones gonna walk a-roun'!”


Excerpted from “Dem Bones”
Lyrics by James Weldon Johnson
African-American Author & Songwriter
(1871-1938)













It’s an old song, but it gives a visual reality to the demand for things to connect, and align in order to function. Our culture is so focused on speed and multi-tasking that in many cases, the resulting stressors on the component parts of our bodies have knocked us out of physical alignment and left us susceptible to dis-ease. The lack of intellectual alignment impacts our lives as we become prone to lip service and disingenuous speech; a lack of spiritual alignment leaves us vulnerable to Machiavellian ethics and a loss of spiritual or “structural integrity.”

If the parts of a bridge structure become rusted, bent or out of alignment, the structure can no longer “carry the load” for which it was designed. It has lost its “structural integrity.” If the foundations of a building do not connect and align with the upper stories, the building will be declared unsafe and a hazard not only to people inside; but also to those in the surrounding area. The loss of structural integrity often comes after a major climatic event such as an earthquake or a storm – yet many buildings today are engineered to take a big quake in stride, flexing with the tremor, but ”returning to true” in short order. In fact, the real measure of structural integrity is perhaps measured by how much stress a building can take and still return to carrying the load.

I wonder if our definition of “Integrity” ought to begin with a structural context, and add an intellectual and a spiritual one as well? Isn’t it a matter of first forming beliefs and values, then stating them clearly, and finally moving on and living accordingly – so that belief, story and behavior connect and align?

I’ve seen many instances where individuals and corporations have been subjected to such stress, and twisted so far out of alignment that they are no longer able to carry the load. They have bent with the strain and lost their structural, intellectual and spiritual integrity. Sadly, the examples in the public sphere are all too common where what is said or claimed, does not carry through into trustworthy behavior.

Some good life questions:

Check your beliefs – are they still solid? Do they still carry the load?

Are you able to tell your story, simply, succinctly and with passion?

Are your actions a living demonstration of alignment of thought, word and deed? Do you have “structural integrity?”

It’s hard to form a belief, tell your story and act accordingly through all aspects of a life AND a career. It’s against the backdrop of a world rocked by seismic events where few people, corporations or countries make honest claim to what they believe, and demonstrate it daily that we begin to see the crystalline power of enduring values, plain speech and behavior that aligns.

And yet, that may be the highest goal; you’ll be a rare being and worth the dedication of family, friends and colleagues. Perhaps it is a fitting time for “returning to true” and then we will be walking our talk.