Returning Decorum to Discourse

The Wall Street Journal's Holman Jenkins writes in his interview with Eric Schmidt that the Google CEO "predicts, apparently seriously, that every young person one day will be entitled automatically to change his or her name on reaching adulthood in order to disown youthful hijinks stored on their friends' social media sites."

Posted: 08-14-10

People have begun to say things in print and on the web that they would never ever dare to say in person. ( And that's a bad thing!)

Worse, there's an aesthetic taking shape in e-mail and web discourse that is not yet fully evolved, and not yet well understood... It's the wild, wild west out there, and nobody knows how to behave in cyberspace... So they behave badly because of the illusion of anonymity. Make no mistake; it's a life and death thing.

We received a web site comment recently; rather heated -- critical even! While our critic may have had a point, we wonder if he'd have spoken in person with the same level of outrage he manifested online. Brings to mind the unleavened quality of public discussion on the web, talk radio and television. Reminds me of the early days of CB radio – raw, frank and radioactive. In earlier years, there was a smaller “public sphere,” and a higher barrier to entry. As I recall, shouting, upset or outrage was never an issue with Chet, David or Walter. Now with seemingly everyone online, everyone has an issue, a complaint, a rant, an upset. And of course each of us can now, (with sufficient bandwidth and technical support) open up our own "Twenty-Four Seven Fairly Balanced Media Outlet." Round the Clock Outrage!

Wow. Look at how far American Dignity has fallen. All right. It is what it is… a sobering commentary on public discourse in these roaring 2000’s... Free Speech. What a Country.

Yet, as I remember my training in elementary school, all freedoms are (or ought to be) balanced with a degree of restraint. That’s it! That’s what’s been missing!

When people are (repeatedly, continuously, at the top of their lungs) questioning the parentage and birthright of the President of the United States, things have gone too far.

I’m searching for a little more Dignity, Restraint, Adult Behavior, Polite Discourse, Focus – as on the key issues VS. impugning the sexual identity or intelligence of the opponent. Behave Children!

We think raising standards of behavior might be worthwhile. Here are "Eight Components for Above Reproach Communication" -- in person, online or in the media:

1. Count to ten before hitting “Send.”
   
2. Don’t say or write (on paper or in electronic format) anything that you wouldn’t want your mother, boss, clergy or the readership of the Wall Street Journal to witness.
   
3. Keep in mind that documents have a half-life only slightly less than uranium. (Witness the recent Supreme Court Confirmation process… If you wrote it in college, it can surface and embarrass you thirty years later.)
   
4. Separate the Argument from the Author! Then Refute the Argument and Leave the Author intact! Don't stoop to lowbrow personal attacks! Leave the author a place to stand.
   
5. Being “Right” doesn’t matter. What people take away from Facebook, rants and flames is not always or exclusively the factual claim, but the quality and character (or the apparent lack thereof) of the owner. You might be factually right, yet leave the reader with the sense that you are a raving lunatic who happened to get the facts right – once.
   
6. Editors are important. They take the content down to the basics, soften the most strident tones, and provide time to mellow the sentiments. Consider getting another set of eyes on your work before hitting “Send.”
   
7. “If you mean it then you shoulda put your name on it!” If an honest signature and location were a condition of posting, internet traffic would drop by two thirds. Nothing says you’re serious like Your Signature! And nothing will enhance your willingness to pay full attention like putting yours on something that can be Googled by anyone on planet Earth. Forget screen names or anonymous posts.
   
8. Up to now we've discussed the process of keeping embarrassment to a minimum. But suppose you say something flatly wrong in print. The ability to apologize is something to cultivate. We’re all wrong from time to time. It's liberating to know you can admit a mistake. A little public humility can soothe a world of hurt, and it’s a huge human being who can make a dignified public apology. Imagine becoming excellent at public Discourse AND Apology!
   
   It still may come to a name change at twenty-one, but if you plan to keep your name for a lifetime, this advisory lays a firm foundation.