When the Heart Sings

"It's in Apple's DNA that technology alone is not enough. It's technology married with liberal arts, married with the humanities, that yields us the result that makes our hearts sing."

-Steve Jobs
(1955 - 2011)
American Technologist, Entrepreneur
Co-Founder and CEO of Apple

Would you rather know "What the man said;" "What he meant;" or "How he felt about it?

"What he said", might be useful in a contract dispute – lawyers thrive on that stuff – the words on the page. "What he meant," might be more useful in forming an alliance, or a service business. But in founding a partnership, managing, coaching, leading a team – or endowing a marriage – it's a big help to know how the other person feels – in addition to the rest.

Words... FAIL!
Our thesis here is that words – wonderful though they are – are merely approximate indications of what a person is experiencing. Your words don't fully convey your intentions, or state of mind. And the other person is similarly hobbled by the inexactitude of words, numbers – text. The written word approximates and abstracts spoken language; and spoken language with all its conventions, grammar, syntax, emphasis and idiom – is but a gross harmonic of actual consciousness – as it existed seconds before the process of composition and transcription began. Text is an archaeological artifact, an attempt to exhume a state of mind that no longer exists.

The challenge? "Thought" is chaotic, unsystematic, holographic, intuitive, logical, visual/pictorial, emotional, instantaneous, then as slow as molasses... Attempting to "freeze thought" into language turns something dynamic into something static. For this reason: "What are you thinking?" may be the most dangerous question in the world – both to ask and to answer. Just as you attempt to describe what you were thinking ten seconds ago, the accuracy of the description fades as the ink dries...

Description relies on Abstraction: (from the Latin "abs," meaning away from; and "trahere," meaning to draw) which is the process of taking away or removing characteristics from something in order to reduce it to a set of essential characteristics.
Thought abstracts experience.
Words abstract thought.
So, right at the outset, we're already twice removed! In "communicating," we're actually manipulating abstractions – not always getting at the true intention or underlying meaning. Language and words are but the carrier waves of meaning – not the meaning itself. We tend to get lost in the words, the facts, the details and our abstractions become obstructions. (For proof of this concept, re-read the last two paragraphs...) Words Fail.

More than Words
Successful speakers are great with words of course, but getting at intentions and feelings, requires one to transcend text and demonstrate! ("Don't tell me that you love me, SHOW me!") This demands a complete array of tools: pictures, graphics, props, music, theatrical performance, electronic aids, emotion, staging, the vaunted and powerful eye contact and sometimes pure physicality and Gesture.

Do it in layers
1. What you say explains what you think: the text is a solid foundation.
2. What you intend is contained in the main idea and the next step.
3. Finally, your depth of feeling is expressed in the delivery of the message.

When you write, rehearse and deliver, don't let the words get in the way. Seek to make the heart Sing! Tell me what it is. Tell me what it does. Show me how it'll make me feel.

Applications:

1. Personal:
Words can't get it done, but it all starts with text. So don't ignore it or short change it, Love the text! Over a few centuries of trying, we've accumulated quite a lexicon of nuances – The Oxford English Dictionary. We both salute and recommend a regular communion with this cultural repository of elected meanings. Put your feelings into words, then writing. "Send an Artifact" to a friend to show how much you care. Cards Count!

2. Familial:
A sad commentary on our culture, is that we have come to rely on texting and email to such a degree that a phone call or (horrors) an actual in-person conversation – is deemed too extreme, too tedious, too demanding...even at home. "Texting, Updating Facebook, Surfing and Streaming while in proximity to each other" does not define a family dinner! Mandate a "Technology Free Zone" and enjoy the ups and downs of real family communion! (Well, at least once a week...)

3. Professional:
When was the last time you touched a colleague? If you want to share your feelings, your intensity, your depth of intention; reach for a hand, a shoulder or an all out hug and be seen as the intense, genuine leader and human being that you are! Yeah, it's a sterile workplace out there; but that's all the more reason to step out of the "Envelope of Acceptability" and Take a Risk! Hug someone!

Also, stand as you deliver, move, gesture and modulate! Give your team someone to watch as you present. Remember, communication is a whole body activity. They won’t be able to gauge your commitment until you show them.

Excellent communication begins with the words, the text and moves on to include the speaker's intentions and desired outcomes, but only achieves its highest ends when the heart sings!


Thanks Steve, for making our hearts sing. Godspeed.