Everybody Hates Training!

“Everybody hates training.”

– Everybody

An open letter to Steve Randall
(and to Young Trainers)

I hated you and everyone remotely like you.

The directive: "You will report for training at the Morrison hotel on Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday promptly at 7:45 AM".

Three days! Are you kidding? I'm supposed to supervise my accounts while out of the office in the middle of the workweek, and two days of travel as well?!?! Right then and there, I hated you! I hated training! I hated all the lame, stupid, repetitive, low echelon, dictatorial, one way, authoritative, mindless stuff that passes for corporate development. I hated your suit – the cut, color, brand, the fact that you were wearing it, the fact you – a foreigner from New York – were trespassing in my pristine Seattle; and I hated your haircut, your name, your job, and the plane that you rode in on!

So I arrived as ordered. Surly, dark, critical, withholding my commitment, curt and angry. My mind was elsewhere, thinking about the work back in the office, while we went through the preliminary introductions. (My spirit, of course, was somewhere people go when they don't see the conflict – and the damage they do –when they send their body one place with mind and spirit somewhere else... But this isn't about my transgressions...)

You noticed – damn you! – and slid in next to me on the break.

"Hi," you said, "I can't help noticing you appear to be a little uncomfortable being here..."

"Of course I am! I'm trying to run my accounts on remote and losing a week of productive time and money!"

And then, you miserable SOB, you said this: "Hey Jennifer, I get it. Your business has to get handled on the breaks, your clients are screaming, and this room is full of peers – anything can happen! This is a risky deal. While we're about it, who the hell am I?"

Well, that stopped me.

Then you said, "Suppose we make a deal. You're expected to be here anyway, what can I do for you? How can we make this time worthwhile for you?" At that moment, you became my ally. Three days later I had grown a ton, improved my style and expanded my approach to the work. And I respected the character of the man who took my tantrum neither personally or seriously. The guy I hated changed my life. I am forever grateful!

In an ironic, even beautiful twist, I became a trainer too, then founded a training consultancy...

And, I've become comfortable being the most hated person in the room.

As for you young trainers, new meeting facilitators or anyone doing group presentations – who are looking for love and warmth in the conference room. Forget it. The truth is, when people go to training/meetings, they revert to the worst aspects of childhood.

They come late. They arrive distracted. They enter the room reading their email while talking on their cell. They find a table and pull out the iPad while continuing on the other two devices. They show no respect as you enter the room to begin. When the place finally settles down, yielding to your insistence, they take their time about shutting down the devices... leaving one on buzz just to be uncooperative... Then comes the cat and mouse of introductions and objective setting. It's dark, it's stale, it's cold and reserved as they feel you out. They know you're a stuffed shirt with nothing to offer, and they're not going to give you an inch or an ounce of respect. Face it, they hate you! Your job – to win their respect!

A little demoralizing perhaps? But tell me, what did you expect? You didn't do your homework. You didn't know who was in the room. You didn't know their soft spot and you were surprised at their toughness. Shame on you! You got exactly what you created – and what you deserved. Wanna be a winner at running meetings or doing training? You've got to be ten steps ahead – and don't take anything personally. All training is threatening; the best is life threatening. So it’s your job to remove the barriers and force them to be winners, in spite of themselves.

I hated Steve, and respect him. I'm doing my best to emulate him.

Next Tuesday morning at 7:45, you should too!

Get ready (and proud) to be the most hated person in the room.

Application:

1. Going to training? Do your best to find the beneficial parts. Give the trainer your best and toughest perspective. You'll make the good ones better and drive the bad ones out of the business!

2. Doing training? Recognize that people feel pretty much the same way about visiting a car lot or the dentist. Plan for that and break out of the mold by starting from their point of view. Look for love after work.

3. Buying training? Don't perpetuate the stereotype! Look for and buy the best! It can and will change the lives and careers of your people. The benefits don't always come immediately, but they do come. Remember, management is for the life of the company, not for next quarter.


Do all this and you too may earn the title, "Most Hated!"

Freedom

“Gentlemen, we'd best hang together, or we'll most assuredly hang – separately!”

-Ben Franklin
American Inventor, Statesman, Publisher, Author
1706-1790

“Give me liberty or give me death.”

-Patrick Henry
Orator and Politician
1736-1799

In recognition of the unprecedented recent events in Egypt, we are breaking from our normal editorial focus to express this statement of admiration for the people of Egypt.

Freedom demands that you face your fears.

What would it take to get you out in Times Square with a protest banner? How difficult to overcome your reticence?

How about you and a neighbor in Westlake Plaza marching to change city politics? What if there were police?

Consider: You and 25 close friends demonstrating in front of the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion? What if they had riot armor?

Plaza at Las Colinas: You and 50 colleagues protesting government infringement? What about the tear gas?

Noon in Courthouse Square: You and a hundred true believers, for fair wages? Against armed thugs?

Grant Park: Look at the crowd you've assembled to resist the secret police... they draw weapons and cut off your retreat.

Bayfront Park: 25,000 ran the marathon. For the protest tomorrow – not so many. Now the water cannon is targeting you...and not to keep you cool.

Consider that last week, the people of Cairo were threatened, beaten, gassed, firebombed, cannoned, detained and tortured, and yet still they remained in Tahrir Square to make themselves and their issues understood. They demonstrated to the world what is required to make changes. Crowd counting is a notoriously imperfect art but somewhere between three hundred thousand and three million people showed up and stayed. And stayed.

Political change requires a level of commitment, sustained dedication and willingness to face personal risk…An unparalleled level of commitment. The process has begun. Let’s hope it comes to a lofty end. We salute the people of Egypt. It’s ironic that the people in Tahrir Square have something to teach us about dedication, commitment and fearlessness in the face of danger.

Public protest entails risk. What would it take to motivate you to take part in a public protest? What would it take for you to face armed opposition, physical violence, threats and potential loss of life to make yourself heard, to put your nation on the right track?

Our nation began in revolution against tyranny. We hung together. The Egyptians have overcome their fears and must now hang together to create their own future.

Their lesson – and ours…Freedom (of whatever flavor) demands that you face your fears.

In your life: What are you afraid of? Confronting a misbehaving family member? Telling the whole truth to Dad? Eliciting the honest truth from your partner?

At work: Is it asking for a raise or promotion? Is it taking on a new responsibility or moving on to start a business of your own?

In the town or community: What needs to be brought to the attention of the authorities? What must change about the schools or environmental policy?

The example of the patriots in Egypt should inspire us to face our fears and reach for greater heights.

Learning is also letting go!

Letting go of Knowledge

A Zen master on the road to Edo encountered a man bent nearly double by the size of the bundle of sticks he carried on his back. “Brother,” he said, “perhaps it's time for you to discard some of your bundle, trade some pieces for food, or burn some at your roadside camp to survive the coming freeze...” “No,” said the man, “for each stick represents an idea I learned along the path from childhood. Here, the meaning of hard work,” he said turning a burled twisted limb of oak – well polished and free of bark. “This supported me through my 12th year with a broken leg,” displaying a well formed crutch of yew wood. “And this” he said, pulling a dark curve of poplar from the bundle, “is the self reliance which carried me through my wife’s illness and death. Each idea is a life truth learned in difficulty which sustains me against the scars of fortune. To discard any of them would weaken me, though I despair of being able to reach the monastery in Edo where I hoped to study with the new master, Basho – for my burden grows heavier than I can bear...”

Weak and chilled, he accepted the gift of some of the monk’s food as they settled in together to camp through the bitter night.

Came the morning, the man awakened, stretched and stood, marveling at the snow and ice outside the tent and the contrasting warmth that suffused his bones – until he noticed the substantial fire just outside. He quickly turned and discovered his worst fear – during the night to stave off the freeze, his traveling companion had built a fire of the bundle and fed it dutifully through the night to preserve the man safely into the dawn.

“Betrayal!” cried the man, reaching for the monk’s throat. The monk swiftly struck him across the shoulder with a remaining stick. “Notice the difference and the similarity in being struck by a stick or by an idea. You've been blind to the weight of your old ideas – symbolized as sticks, the burden of which made it impossible for you to learn or move any further. A fortunate thing though, because the fire which preserved us through the night also freed you of your burden…and here you stand – erect, independent, experienced and safe."

“I bid you farewell, for I have students to meet in Edo.”

Experiencing a flash of clarity, the man took up the way of Zen.

-Zen Tale
Rene Roshi
Temple of the Perennials
Weston, FL

Consider putting Basho's lesson to work...

In your personal life:

Are you laboring under the burden of an outmoded self-image? An ancient pride? Or a prison of ego?

In your family:

Does an old contention with a sibling define you in the present day or seek to pull you back into an upset of 20 years ago?

In the corporation:

Does the founder’s vision still ring true in a third generation company? Or does the life and death struggle of the past weigh you down as you confront a new reality?

As you make your way to Edo, discard your bundle and walk free…for learning is also letting go.

Genius & Taking Pains

"Genius is the infinite capacity for taking pains."

-Thomas Carlyle
Essayist, satirist, historian
1795-1881

"Y'know, I've been working on my career now for five years and I'm pretty much convinced that success is basically a matter of getting up earlier and staying later at the job..."

-Anonymous young businessman
Seat 11-B – New York to Pittsburgh – 1982

What is Excellence?

We think Excellence means extraordinary care with the details....

The trouble with excellence is that it makes the really difficult appear really easy – off handed even.

As young people see excellence in the workplace, in the media; they don't see the weeks, months, days and hours of practice, refinement and analysis required to craft a winning result... So as they find their way onto the varsity, they don't realize that the time and effort required to get to the top are going to be greater than they may have expected. (What about those “overnight success” stories? Exactly…)

The tendency is for many to settle somewhere short of excellence. They start too late, don't think it through, and don’t adopt a process to guide their practice and preparation. They decide to hang it up the night before the meeting without a rehearsal, forget to designate a teammate to wrangle the equipment. So when the time comes and the chips are down, there's a room full of people who are going through the motions together for the first time, and it shows – something short of excellence...

It's not that the winners are geniuses, smarter or just naturally better, but that they put in fifty per cent more time, beyond getting the strategy, idea, structure, words, opening, visuals, examples, materials, team, the overall look and packaging, and rehearsals to make it go right, and the logistical plan to get everyone on deck in advance of the meeting. It's that they keep going even so far as to anticipate the tough questions they might receive and the best answers they might provide... and which teammates might be called to deliver... and then they rehearse.

In your own life, start by asking what you expect to achieve this year. Build the plan, now.

In your career, consider what growth you intend to achieve, and what changes that will bring about. Start planning, now.

In your family or social life, consider whom you may serve, and what new adventures you may enjoy. Plan, now.

It’s been nearly thirty years since that flight, and I believe my seatmate was correct.

Genius. The infinite capacity for taking pains. Always.

Start now, and make it look easy.