Success Reluctance

"Self-sabotage is like a game of mental tug-of-war. It is the conscious mind versus the subconscious mind where the subconscious mind always eventually wins."

-Bo Bennett
American Businessman

"Self-sabotage is when we say that we want something, then go about making sure it doesn’t happen!"

-Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby
American Manager & Author

A computer has no mind to change.

So if a change is to be made, it will occur when a programmer determines that a change is in order, shuts down the computer, does an analysis, writes a new program, debugs it, installs it and starts the machine up again.

Consider a human being – a world of difference of course, but still a useful parallel.

A human being says to herself; "Hey, I keep having trouble in my life when it comes to men, or money or doing presentations at the office." Being self-aware, our heroine considers her own programming, one belief (or sub-routine) at a time:

1. I know my material.

2. I shake when I stand up to speak.

3. I'm afraid of looking at the boss and the new analyst in my division.

4. I don't deserve respect.

5. I honestly believe we can run things more efficiently, and the evidence bears me out.

A computer doesn't evaluate, and then change its own programming; but a human being can – and MUST if things are to change.

So back to our heroine. She says, "I know I believe that I'm unworthy of respect from the new analyst, or a raise from the boss, but damn it, something's gotta give. I've been hiding in the hallways, avoiding confronting these issues and this presenation for too long!" She summons her courage and enrolls in a presentation skills course, systematically studying and perfecting one aspect of the art at a time, even the seemingly "small time" issue of looking directly at men... She's decided to change her mind.

Of course, she presents successfully, gets a promotion and meets a man. (Hey, I'm writing this story, OK?)

But what's the point?

She succeeds because she changed her mind about something. She evaluated her beliefs – her "programming" – and changed them. Beliefs may or may not be true, and they may or may not be working for you. Many people carry deeply held beliefs about their own undeserving or impure character, about the "rightness" of their failures, about the "correctness" of their lack of confidence. Their beliefs work against them – they are "programmed for failure." It's downright perverse that often, people are going down the tubes about something, while at the same time proclaiming how right they are on the subject... We call it "Success Reluctance." What's fascinating is that the self-defeating beliefs are often sitting there side-by-side with the winning beliefs, unnoticed and deadly, until the owner turns on the self-aware button, evaluates the programming and decides to change it.

(Consider certain celebrity nut cases – confident; cocksure even, yet not even a little bit self-aware... Their beliefs about themselves are powerful, and exactly wrong! Rather than change their minds, they continue down the self-serving path of blame, self-pity and the denial of personal responsibility.)

Application:

1. Shouldn't our beliefs work for us? Look around your life and ask yourself, "Which unnoticed beliefs of mine are contributing to the aspects of my life that are less than perfect? How can I begin to change my life by changing my beliefs about it?"

2. At home, what do you believe or think you know about your mate, your parents or your children? Which of those beliefs would benefit by a little self-aware examination?

3. At the office, is it possible that your colleagues are actually pulling for your success? Is your boss actually a servant manager, dedicated to your career – but burdened by your persistent self-criticism and negativity?

We love our work. Part of it is about teaching new skills. But the more interesting part is encouraging and assisting people as they do the delicate work of self-examination – deciding which beliefs are working and which demand a change. It's subtle, it’s substantial, and a small change can have an enormous effect!

Gandhi said, “We must become the change we wish to see in the world!" Recognize that all change begins in your mind.

The Last Prejudice

"Prejudice is being down on something you’re not up on."

-Anonymous

Define prejudice.

How about a gated country club, inhabited by blacks and whites, considering the membership application of a Vietnamese American couple?

How about a New York City business club, all men on the membership committee, evaluating the application of a 32 year old Cherokee woman from Portland?

How about a private church school, evaluating the application of a ten year old physically challenged test champion, whose parents are a married gay couple?

How about an employment committee at an elite architectural firm, evaluating the application of a stage designer with no college degree, but with field experience designing venues for Cirque du Soleil?

It appears that there is a great "prejudice" on the part of the word and number people toward those who rely on pictures, emotion and intuition. Words and numbers are "readable," they are "witnessable" and explainable... at least to word/number people communicating in words and numbers. Historically, word and number people dominated the landscape... particularly when it was a thousand times harder to communicate pictures and emotions to the masses. But look at what's happening to print and numeric communication these days... print and numbers are tapering off, and video and graphics are picking up in huge amounts as IT services make it easier to add visuals, video and music to the communication mix. It's a much more "flavorful world."

In earlier times the literate/numerate people "defined the nature and the limits of the game" for everyone else, and they didn’t make room for those who are equally intelligent, but differently articulate. It’s the word/number people who create intelligence tests. If that isn’t institutionalized prejudice, what is? As the IT world starts to make more "channels" available to those who are pictorially, video, emotionally, and entrepreneurially articulate, the game becomes more rich and varied; and there are more colors in the tapestry. Perhaps the "smart" numerate, verbally articulate people don't see the value of intuition, pictorial intelligence, or social skills. They've erected the Bastions of Intellectual Achievement, and fear the "hordes waiting to storm the battlements." Logic "can't calculate" or "see the value" of "mere emotion." Indeed. Perhaps because logic can't "see;" it can only calculate. Hmmm... Perhaps Intuition is senior to Logic.

Literacy is a multi-meaning word. It's a great attribute to have, and those who aren't "literate" are at a disadvantage, but they may not be as incompetent or un-thoughtful as the word and numbers people have implied. "There may be more kinds of intelligence than are dreamed of in your philosophy, Horatio." The book, "The Hungry Spirit," catalogs differing flavors of intelligence: physical, entrepreneurial, spatial, social, etc. and suggests that the culture is not yet sophisticated enough to recognize and value all of these diverse talents; that we have set up barriers to people who may be brilliant in their own right, but are not interested in the word and number skills.

Maybe we have to recognize that we are all incomplete in different ways. Perhaps the purpose of a family (or a leadership team) is to put all the kinds of intelligence and perception to work on a problem together. We get in trouble when we try to celebrate one kind of intelligence or perception as senior to all the others. Maybe we really do need each other.

Application

Personal: Check your assumptions. Who is in your club? Is there a trace of "Not our kind, dear" in your considerations of who fits and who doesn't? Is there a particle of rightness about your viewpoint?

At work: We need to make space for each other’s talents and skills – from the visionaries to the tacticians.

In the community: Get yourself on the hiring or membership committee, and inch the door open just a little wider!

There is no "either/or" – the "and" makes a whole tapestry. We really do need each other. It's high time we all "get down with what we're not up on!"

Survey Results

"America has voted. Jennifer, Lucy, Paige, Tom, Nina, Damon & Danielle – this week…you are safe!"

From time to time, everyone needs feedback as to how they're doing. Students have report cards, politicians have polls and employees have evaluations. For the past 18 months, Fusion's Editorial Team has published a weekly post – it was time to see what our readers think. Here are the results of last week's five question survey:

Question 1: Should we continue publishing Cornerstones?

The response was a resounding "Yes!" – 90% of you want us to keep going. The Editorial Team is gratified…thank you. Like contestants on "American Idol," we're glad you want us back next week!

Question 2: Should we combine the three separate blogs into one?

Sixty percent voted to combine the blogs. This change is forthcoming. And to the 21% who responded "What blogs?" – the weekly email archives are accessible 24/7 via the "View the Archives" link at the bottom of this email.

Question 3: What topics are most important to you?

The top three responses were Communication, Sales & Strategy followed by Management, Corporate Culture and Editorial Commentary. Looks like we all agree that these topics are important…we hear you and will continue sharing Fusion’s perspective on each of these areas.

Question 4: This was the three-part "How would you like your Fusion today?"

Do you prefer the white text on a black background or black text on a white background? The vote was split. The black background/white text is preferred by 52%. From a branding perspective the black background is our "look"… we're still kicking this one around for the 48% who prefer white background/black text.

Does your system block the images?

Our resident graphic artist was happy to hear 75% of you can see his work! If you're one of the 25% that don't receive the images, you can view them on the blog.

Would you be willing to pay a subscription fee? Well, it never hurts to ask, right? Not only do 90% of our readers want us to keep publishing, they want to subscribe for free. That's alright with us – we’re having fun writing and publishing each week.

And speaking of feedback…wow! Question 5 was your opportunity to share your thoughts…What haven't we asked you? Here’s a sampling of the comments:

"I've been through the training, but – believe it or not – I don't remember everything I've learned. I appreciate the reminders."

"Unlike any other e-mail I get during the course of the week – I always read it."

"The emails remind me of the principles in Fusion and inspire me to aim higher professionally and personally."

"Sometimes the emails take a little bit to get to the point….shorter may be better. Love it though!"

"Consistently stimulates thinking."

There's some trepidation in asking for feedback. We've been wondering what you thought of the weekly emails. Your responses have been a gift. It will be our privilege to continue bringing the Fusion perspective to you each week. And, we'll do our best to keep the emails short and sweet; yet some subjects need more "column inches" to make the point.

Application

People wouldn't be so afraid to ask for feedback if it didn't have the potential to be devastating. Yet, it can be gratifying. It lets you know if you're on the right track…or not. Ask your family or your boss "How am I doing? What am I doing well? What can I improve upon?" Be open to what comes. Whatever the result, it will be better to know the truth.

Thank you for asking us back next week. See you then!

Restoring Nobility to the Workplace

"Our awesome responsibility to ourselves, to our children, and to the future is to create ourselves in the image of goodness, because the future depends on the nobility of our imaginings."

-Barbara Grizzuti Harrison
Author

This is the last in the five-part "What is Fusion?" series. Our purpose here has been to let our clients and friends see past our well-known communication specialties, and experience a deeper look into the soul of the firm.

Does Purpose have dimension? Size? Comparative Scale?

In our mind, Yes.

It's one thing to decide that one's life purpose is to sing – quite another to sing lead tenor in the Tabernacle Choir. Or Vienna. Or New York.

What about to feed one's self? To feed another? One's family? What about creating a strain of hearty wheat that extends harvests sufficiently to feed millions?

We suggest that Purpose can possess both magnitude and altitude. It can be both big and lofty. Or not...

Brings to mind the idea of Noble Purpose. Greatness.

Hard to have this conversation in the same world with "Jersey Shore" and MTV. Perhaps the reason it's so difficult to find motivated people today is that many conversations (at least in the public sphere...) have turned from greatness to the mundane. People seem less interested in summiting Everest than in the summit of the social scene in Mountain View, CA or Manhattan.

A perfect example is the fall from greatness of strategic planning. We are saddened to witness the devolution of planning from a moment to discuss changing the world to changing our profit plan. From changing the industry to changing our income stream. Perhaps the reason people are so involved with engineering their own careers today, is that the corporation seems so bent on its own ascendance or simply "so bent." It's easy to become sad and discouraged by focusing on the obvious bad in the world. We prefer to focus instead on discovering the hidden good. We've noticed that everyone dreams of – and hopes for – a lofty purpose (even while staying focused on keeping the family fed), and that one part of leadership is putting people back in touch with their own basic nobility and of their deepest aspiration for more.

Nobility is an attitude... which can turn a strategic planning retreat from an exercise in profit enhancement (or loss apportionment) into a quest. It's what turns the planning discipline from something barely tolerated into something we hunger after and reach for – a Cornerstone of Corporate Culture... Your job is to find the coals of creativity and interest in your corporation and fan them into the bright flames which can forge nobility and greatness.

Hey, maybe this is just "those zany people at Fusion" speaking, but we believe that life and work can become once again noble, and that greatness is within reach. One approach: treat strategic planning as something that begins with an imagined noble purpose rather than searching for ways to increase income. With immense respect for our highly analytical teammates; amounts, equations and calculations are all about the "how's, when's and who's" of life. When you finish with that, it's just "yawn, what's for dinner?" – it's all body and mind stuff. A Noble Purpose however, elevates the discussion from "How" to "What and Why?" and involves the heart and spirit... mobilizing the whole being – probably why we think holistics is worth pursuing. Nobility is about the "Why?" No one gets excited thinking about mere survival. But everyone has a hero inside just waiting to be called to service at the round table.

Application

1. For Yourself: It's hard to get excited about putting food on the table, especially if it’s just for yourself. Maybe you need to imagine something loftier. What about starting a soup kitchen?

2. In your Family: For you mothers, fathers, mates and partners...that band-aid, bowl of soup, advice on homework or picking up at the playground may not feel noble, but it is in their eyes.

3. In your Business: It's not just about the numbers. No business is. Every business is founded on serving a need. Decades – or even centuries – of success can obscure that fact and leave everyone merely serving the balance sheet. Unfortunately, such companies are on a downward trend – whether they know it or not. Imagining better is the first step to putting the organization back in the service of a noble purpose.

Join us in imagining a more noble future!