Silence Looking Out

The deep end starts here!

Over the years, many clients have commented that Fusion sits squarely in the center of the business/intellectual universe; yet draws on material from the extreme reaches of both the ancient wisdom traditions, and the new age frontier. Said a participant, "One minute I'm sitting in a modern business office talking about an advertising campaign, then somehow I'm transported to an ashram in India or a Zen Temple in Humboldt County, discussing the nature of personal identity..." We might observe, "So, you think these are not connected?" What in the world is more important than connecting one to the other? Fusion.

Herewith, this week’s Cornerstone...

Does the Noise in my Head Bother You?

By Steven Tyler
Lead Singer – Aerosmith
(1948 - )

"The natural state of a rational mind is silence; looking out."

Zen Roshi
Temple of the Perrenials
Weston, FL

Most people are sharing their headspace with a crazy roommate... one who mutters, worries, criticizes, talks over the conversation, judges, obsesses about the state of the finances, deems you worthless, and sweats the Yankees (Mets, Dodgers, Patriots, Bulls); all while the rational side is valiantly and thanklessly attempting to pay full attention to the business (or pleasure) at hand. (The Asian name for this is "Monkey Mind.")

Is it any wonder that – in the middle (muddle) of this incessant distraction we occasionally lose track of the business conversation?

How can we control this internal interloper? Turn down the volume or, better yet, shut it down altogether?

We suggest three solutions – from three perspectives:

1. Short Term – Attention/Looking: Zen

2. Medium Term – Affection/Loving: Hindu

3. Long Term – Distinction/Leaving it Behind: Holosophy

1. Looking

The Masters of Zen long ago discovered and taught that the noises in the mind can be silenced by directing the attention solely to the task at hand – focusing on a spot on the wall for example (ref. Bodhidharma boring a hole in the wall of his cave with the intensity of his meditative stare). We build on this ancient tradition by assisting clients in managing their eye contact so that through the focus of their attention, they no longer provide mental space for anything but the person in their focus – the task at hand. When the attention is narrowly focused, nerves and mental noise fall away. Look where you intend the arrow (or the idea) to go... (It also works for Zen Archery and Kung Fu).

2. Loving

The Hindu Gurus taught that unconditional, loving acceptance is the thing that all beings seek and is the ingredient that makes life liveable, bearable and meaningful. That voice in the head is usually critical, judgmental, dark, negative, full of invective and frustration. Have you found yourself on the way to work, reaming out the driver who cut in front of you, then arriving at the office and terrorizing the staff, bursting a blood vessel over the projector that's not functioning, then dumping on yourself as you mis-present a big idea? That voice is perhaps not grounded in affection...

What if you chose instead to notice, not judge the events in your life – no voice? What if you ascribed no importance to the car that just swerved in front of you; and even sent the harried driver some compassion? How about just notice the projector isn't operating and look for the unplugged cord? What if you accepted your own inherent limitations in business meetings and began to like the grand game of making things happen in and through corporations? Would your day go more smoothly? Would events unfold more auspisciously? Would contacts and clients appear more magically? Perhaps calm acceptance (Love) is the answer.

3. Leaving it Behind

What makes you think that voice in your head is right, or rational or good – or you? It's easy to consider that a voice in the mind, or an attitude or a residual dark malevolence – is yours because it's "in your space." Perhaps any or all of those items might be present, but they may not be you. "The thinker is not the thought. The listener is not the sound!" "The stuff in the head doesn't become yours or you until or unless you choose to own it or act on it."

Obviously this is a big sort of mental/spiritual discipline – a holistic philosophy – the sort that distinguishes masters, saints and people of rarified intention. But it is within our reach if we simply concentrate on the task at hand, accept what is happening without judgement and then choose not to own a critical thought simply because it's there. Choose your path one step at a time, and in choosing, leave behind all the noise – which may never have been yours to begin with. Making this distinction between the listener and the noise is a tenet of Holosophy. (Holosophy is an eclectic, currently evolving study which seeks to unify and align the best efforts of the great philosophers.) (Don't Google this yet. The term is misused on the Internet. We'll clear this up in subsequent posts. In the meantime, if you're interested in learning more, drop us a line.)

What does all this have to do with creating a successful career or presentation?

The old masters, and those still with us suggest that looking, loving and leaving the past behind are three components of an enlightened and successful life.

Application

At home: When listening to your mate, children or friends - silence the noise by looking – don't judge. You may hear and learn something.

At work: When listening to your colleagues or boss, silence the noise by looking – don't judge. You may hear and learn something.

If the noise in your head bothers you, just think what it's doing to someone else. Recognize it may not be you and choose not to own it.

Welcome to the deep end – jump in!

Success Reluctance

"Self-sabotage is like a game of mental tug-of-war. It is the conscious mind versus the subconscious mind where the subconscious mind always eventually wins."

-Bo Bennett
American Businessman

"Self-sabotage is when we say that we want something, then go about making sure it doesn’t happen!"

-Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby
American Manager & Author

A computer has no mind to change.

So if a change is to be made, it will occur when a programmer determines that a change is in order, shuts down the computer, does an analysis, writes a new program, debugs it, installs it and starts the machine up again.

Consider a human being – a world of difference of course, but still a useful parallel.

A human being says to herself; "Hey, I keep having trouble in my life when it comes to men, or money or doing presentations at the office." Being self-aware, our heroine considers her own programming, one belief (or sub-routine) at a time:

1. I know my material.

2. I shake when I stand up to speak.

3. I'm afraid of looking at the boss and the new analyst in my division.

4. I don't deserve respect.

5. I honestly believe we can run things more efficiently, and the evidence bears me out.

A computer doesn't evaluate, and then change its own programming; but a human being can – and MUST if things are to change.

So back to our heroine. She says, "I know I believe that I'm unworthy of respect from the new analyst, or a raise from the boss, but damn it, something's gotta give. I've been hiding in the hallways, avoiding confronting these issues and this presenation for too long!" She summons her courage and enrolls in a presentation skills course, systematically studying and perfecting one aspect of the art at a time, even the seemingly "small time" issue of looking directly at men... She's decided to change her mind.

Of course, she presents successfully, gets a promotion and meets a man. (Hey, I'm writing this story, OK?)

But what's the point?

She succeeds because she changed her mind about something. She evaluated her beliefs – her "programming" – and changed them. Beliefs may or may not be true, and they may or may not be working for you. Many people carry deeply held beliefs about their own undeserving or impure character, about the "rightness" of their failures, about the "correctness" of their lack of confidence. Their beliefs work against them – they are "programmed for failure." It's downright perverse that often, people are going down the tubes about something, while at the same time proclaiming how right they are on the subject... We call it "Success Reluctance." What's fascinating is that the self-defeating beliefs are often sitting there side-by-side with the winning beliefs, unnoticed and deadly, until the owner turns on the self-aware button, evaluates the programming and decides to change it.

(Consider certain celebrity nut cases – confident; cocksure even, yet not even a little bit self-aware... Their beliefs about themselves are powerful, and exactly wrong! Rather than change their minds, they continue down the self-serving path of blame, self-pity and the denial of personal responsibility.)

Application:

1. Shouldn't our beliefs work for us? Look around your life and ask yourself, "Which unnoticed beliefs of mine are contributing to the aspects of my life that are less than perfect? How can I begin to change my life by changing my beliefs about it?"

2. At home, what do you believe or think you know about your mate, your parents or your children? Which of those beliefs would benefit by a little self-aware examination?

3. At the office, is it possible that your colleagues are actually pulling for your success? Is your boss actually a servant manager, dedicated to your career – but burdened by your persistent self-criticism and negativity?

We love our work. Part of it is about teaching new skills. But the more interesting part is encouraging and assisting people as they do the delicate work of self-examination – deciding which beliefs are working and which demand a change. It's subtle, it’s substantial, and a small change can have an enormous effect!

Gandhi said, “We must become the change we wish to see in the world!" Recognize that all change begins in your mind.

The Last Prejudice

"Prejudice is being down on something you’re not up on."

-Anonymous

Define prejudice.

How about a gated country club, inhabited by blacks and whites, considering the membership application of a Vietnamese American couple?

How about a New York City business club, all men on the membership committee, evaluating the application of a 32 year old Cherokee woman from Portland?

How about a private church school, evaluating the application of a ten year old physically challenged test champion, whose parents are a married gay couple?

How about an employment committee at an elite architectural firm, evaluating the application of a stage designer with no college degree, but with field experience designing venues for Cirque du Soleil?

It appears that there is a great "prejudice" on the part of the word and number people toward those who rely on pictures, emotion and intuition. Words and numbers are "readable," they are "witnessable" and explainable... at least to word/number people communicating in words and numbers. Historically, word and number people dominated the landscape... particularly when it was a thousand times harder to communicate pictures and emotions to the masses. But look at what's happening to print and numeric communication these days... print and numbers are tapering off, and video and graphics are picking up in huge amounts as IT services make it easier to add visuals, video and music to the communication mix. It's a much more "flavorful world."

In earlier times the literate/numerate people "defined the nature and the limits of the game" for everyone else, and they didn’t make room for those who are equally intelligent, but differently articulate. It’s the word/number people who create intelligence tests. If that isn’t institutionalized prejudice, what is? As the IT world starts to make more "channels" available to those who are pictorially, video, emotionally, and entrepreneurially articulate, the game becomes more rich and varied; and there are more colors in the tapestry. Perhaps the "smart" numerate, verbally articulate people don't see the value of intuition, pictorial intelligence, or social skills. They've erected the Bastions of Intellectual Achievement, and fear the "hordes waiting to storm the battlements." Logic "can't calculate" or "see the value" of "mere emotion." Indeed. Perhaps because logic can't "see;" it can only calculate. Hmmm... Perhaps Intuition is senior to Logic.

Literacy is a multi-meaning word. It's a great attribute to have, and those who aren't "literate" are at a disadvantage, but they may not be as incompetent or un-thoughtful as the word and numbers people have implied. "There may be more kinds of intelligence than are dreamed of in your philosophy, Horatio." The book, "The Hungry Spirit," catalogs differing flavors of intelligence: physical, entrepreneurial, spatial, social, etc. and suggests that the culture is not yet sophisticated enough to recognize and value all of these diverse talents; that we have set up barriers to people who may be brilliant in their own right, but are not interested in the word and number skills.

Maybe we have to recognize that we are all incomplete in different ways. Perhaps the purpose of a family (or a leadership team) is to put all the kinds of intelligence and perception to work on a problem together. We get in trouble when we try to celebrate one kind of intelligence or perception as senior to all the others. Maybe we really do need each other.

Application

Personal: Check your assumptions. Who is in your club? Is there a trace of "Not our kind, dear" in your considerations of who fits and who doesn't? Is there a particle of rightness about your viewpoint?

At work: We need to make space for each other’s talents and skills – from the visionaries to the tacticians.

In the community: Get yourself on the hiring or membership committee, and inch the door open just a little wider!

There is no "either/or" – the "and" makes a whole tapestry. We really do need each other. It's high time we all "get down with what we're not up on!"