The Uses of Not

"Thirty spokes share the wheel's hub. It is the center hole that makes it useful. Shape clay into a pot. Where the pot's not; is where it's useful. Cut doors and windows for a room; the space inside makes "room" for you. Therefore the profit in what is; lies in the use of what is not."


from the Tao Te Ching
by Lao Tsu
Translation by Gia-Fu Feng, Taoist Priest (1919 – 1985)
and Ursula K. LeGuinn, Novelist (1929 -











In a culture orbiting around acquisition, finance, politics and global strife; this reference to an ancient sage and his commentary about the power of emptiness might seem pointless. Yet, the examples below might serve to demonstrate just how much nothing can contribute to making sense.

tobeornottobethatisthequestionwhetheritisnoblerinthemindtosuffertheslingsandarrowsofoutrageousfortuneortotakearmsagainstaseaoftroublesandbyopposingendthem

To be or not to be. That is the question.
Whether it is nobler in the mind to "Suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune?"
Or
to "Take Arms against a sea of troubles", and by opposing end them!?

The difference in the examples is not the raw text, but the inclusion of more and more "space between the notes." Nothingness. As space (nothing) is added, the meaning increases. (Of course, punctuation helps you may say… But the classical purpose of punctuation is to indicate the use of space/silence.)

Some advice:

In spite of the omnipresent cultural arguments to the contrary -- silence, space and contemplation are meaningful additions to our lives. Add more "not" to your day, and notice your mood improve.

In Conversation: Add more space between the notes, and notice your partners respond to your magnetic personality.

In the Gym: Add some calm silence to your workout, and savor the slow stretch. Contentment follows.

In Presentations: Pause a little after your major statements. The silence will allow your audience to digest and consider the arguments before you move on.

In Meetings: Resist leaping into the silence when your colleague stops talking. Show your respect in reflection.

At Home: Be quiet. Rub your partner's feet.

Perhaps there are more uses for "Nothing" than we realize!

Learning, Surrender and Engagement

"The beginner's white belt gets darker with every hour spent on the mat; at some point, it becomes black."


Yoshihiko Hirata Sensei
Aikido Master
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
All learning requires some fundamental commitments, and adheres to a set of standard principles:

1. The student doesn't know everything already.
    (Empty your cup.)

2. Endless Failures are the path to knowledge.
    (Take another fall; again!)

3. Sacrifice ego and self importance and speed the
    accumulation of knowledge.
    (Curiosity trumps ego!)

4. Master: Responsible for Teaching.
    Student: Responsible for Learning.
    (We need each other.)

5. Masters are the best students.
    (Never stop learning!)

6. That which Hurts, also instructs.
    (Honor the pain!)

7. Dojo means, "The Room in which we Find the Way."
    (We bow to honor what we're about to learn.)

8. Working when you don't want to, defines commitment.
    (Every day in the dojo!)

9. Both attack and defense require diligent practice.
   (Consider, absorb, and prepare to respond to attacks
    from all points of view!)

10. Mastery is demonstrated in life, as well as on the mat.
     (Masters: Everything improves in their wake.)

In your life and work, "on the mat" and off; surrender to the lesson, engage with the master and let your belt grow darker – from use.

(This post may be about Martial Arts, then again...)

In praise of "Counselor Servant Sellers"

"One of the little joys of being a human being, is the occasional opportunity to enjoy "being human" together – to bask in the warmth of an affectionate smile, to appreciate an inside joke, to be caressed, to be served coffee by someone you know cares whether it's gone cold..."

–  J.R. St. John
   Executive Counselor,
  Consultant, Speaker
  Founder of The Fusion Group
  1952 –

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

All right, listen up! This is for all you sellers and servers suffering in silence thinking that you don't contribute anything to the nation, the economy, the company or your client / customers.

What if YOU are the uniqueness in the product? Yes, You!
What if you are the reason we buy the coffee?
What if you are the reason we feel safe investing in your anonymous money management company?
What if you are the reason we feel confident buying the new car from a different company with the custom glass and the very cool upholstery?
What if you are the reason we think buying the new computer is not a stupid risk?
What if you are the reason we were able to buy orthotics to resolve that nagging foot pain; confident that it wasn't diabetes, but flat feet?
What if it's your passion [about your product] that makes us want to hang around you and listen, as we buy your stuff to pay for the time?
What if it’s not the special paint?

Not the unusually cogent portfolio management team?
Not the super fast microprocessor?
Not the special sauce?
Not the price?
Not the time allocation required to attend the training...

What if it really is YOU, the person – the counselor servant seller; the individual responsible for hearing what the customer says, divining what they actually mean, then choosing the product, the access, the amount and the level of follow up required to keep them happy long term?

YOU. Not IT! You.

So now you’re probably busy erecting a wall of humility and misdirection... "Aw shucks ma'am, I didn't do nothin’."

But you did…you did something by "putting in the nothing" (the moment of profound personal understanding) right between when they finished and when you proposed a solution. There was a moment where you were listening and heard what they meant, and felt, and thought. In that moment, they were understood. (Being understood is not a quantifiable event – it's no-thing. And a pretty important nothing at that.) That moment made the next moment possible and meaningful... Because you were able to bring them exactly what they needed. You proved you knew them by serving up the answer to their question, the solution to the problem.

The solution could be had almost anywhere... or at least in several places. But YOU are what made it possible for them to find the answer today. Here. Now. Just in time. Before it was too late...

You. The product. The delivery mechanisms. Together, you form a powerful composite product solution. Without you, it's just another microprocessor on a shelf.

Some suggestions:

Managers: It generally takes longer to sell through service – so consider your management metrics carefully before coming down on your wildly effective servant sellers for not doing more meetings in less time. Manage to results, not merely the meetings. It's a different tack, but quality takes time… and builds long lasting relationships.

Sellers: Recognize that you can't get someone to listen – or absorb – until they have been heard out, and understood. So invest the time, and get what's on their mind and in their heart. You'll know if you've got a product that'll serve; and because you've listened – you'll have earned their trust in your advice.

Customers: (Especially you retail customers) those service people have a hard life, and they deserve your thanks and respect. Why not lavish a little extra TLC on your clerk next time and start them down the path of service?

Almost everything we own was purchased. Some of those purchase experiences were banal if not actually painful. Conversely, many were not only pleasant, but also rewarding far in excess of the price. We know you didn't have to do it. We know the extra study, patience and warmth is hard to summon up from the depths. Thanks…for your service! And for the opportunity to enjoy the pleasure of "being human together."

“When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson
  Writer, Philosopher
  (1803 –1882)
 

It’s been a dark time: financially, politically, emotionally. It's been easy to see the comets, burning brightly for a second then flaming out.

Look again – People going to work. Serving silently. Still committed to duty, honor, community. Stars, helping you find your way.

In such times a few trustworthy partners, clients, providers and teammates stand out. By their longer hours, quiet commitment, and stable leadership; you’ll recognize them.

The stars aren’t lobbying for a bonus. But they might appreciate an “understated gesture of respect.”

Now is the time to narrow your team to those that shine – and move on together.

All world cultures recognize that we have a responsibility to do more than look out for ourselves.

The ability to genuinely engage and perhaps influence another human being is truly a gift – which carries grave responsibility – that of service. Reaching for a lofty or even noble purpose demands that we aim high: serving ourselves and our families, our business and local communities and even – a significant victory – the community of humankind.

The news is littered with incidences of powerful people skillfully arguing that they did nothing wrong while betraying their clients, their community and their culture. They are skilled, shameful – and shameless. It’s time to raise the bar and our expectations.

Fusion helps you acquire the skills to give voice to your ambitions.

The secret resides in the “Next Step.” Is it good for all concerned? Will it help the client/customer? Will it serve your firm, your family? Will it serve you? Then go tell this story!

Use your voice and your skills for the good of all!

“The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters”

– Caprichos
   Francisco Jose de Goya y Lucientes
   Spanish Painter
   Portrait Artist to King Carlos IV
   (1746-1828)
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
The Inquisition – 1799. Anonymous tribunals were determining guilt and issuing death sentences against people harboring unacceptable beliefs. Reason slept. Goya, the King's painter, issued a series of editorial cartoons which highlighted many of the absurdities... http://www.franciscodegoya.net/biography.html

2010 – Everywhere, “Reason” sleeps. Not reason with a small r, but “Reason” as in the rational contemplation of “the greatest good for all concerned.” 

“Reason” sleeps. Leaving us in the middle of this long nightmare of too much and too little. Too much spending and too little personal responsibility. Too much bellicosity and polarization and too little conversation. Too much credit and too little pay in advance. Too little investment and too much borrowing. Too much electronic buzz and too little personal connection. Too much reliance on government and too much blame, shame and guilt. Too little lifelong commitment to the family, the community and one’s own personal growth. Too much interference in other countries while our own cities and highways crumble. Too much emphasis on things and too little on character.

Everyone has a reason, their own personal excuse factory of explanations, justifications and stories about how it's all someone else's fault. It doesn’t matter who’s at fault. What matters is that nobody checks, nobody questions, nobody acts to protect the commons.

Too many “reasons” – and too little “Reason!” We need more people with “Reason,” who can remind us of what's important and help us decide how to proceed.

Wait a second; “Reason” isn’t some far away skill, owned by ancient philosophers. “Reason” slumbers in us all when we blame, borrow, or look the other way. “Reason” sleeps when we excuse City Hall because “We’re too small to make a difference...” Reason awakens when we actively look and say “What, Why, How and What Next?”

Wake up! This isn’t a philosophy lecture! It’s your life! Clear your mind and decide how you can make things better! Don’t fall back asleep. Get on with it! You've rested too long.

In your career, don’t get lost in the rush to judge, explain or excuse what’s happened. Instead, focus on the long-term goal of an improved game for all. Then get people moving in that direction. Be the one who nudges people onward every day.

In your personal life, it’s easy to go with the flow until you doze off and lose sight of where you’re going and what you stand for. Pause every so often, take stock and decide once again, “What’s this supposed to be about?” and “How do I get myself and my family where we’re going?”

If you look around and nothing makes any sense, you’re probably correct. (The truth is, most people are asleep, most of the time...) Now that you’ve awakened, you can perhaps awaken some others – and travel forward together.

We need you! It’s in your hands. Take care. Travel safe!

Poised for Outrage!

“Don't understand me so quickly!”

– Yul Brynner as Chris in "The Magnificent Seven"
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Have you noticed that people are “Poised for outrage”? Cutting you off halfway through a sentence? That they see you as “evil incarnate” before they've heard your entire premise? Especially when there's an emotional charge in the air? There are lots of reasons: high-pressure circumstances, high speed technology and, of course, microwave popcorn. Everything moves faster these days – faster than we can process. Because of this, we should take more time to fully consider our response. Shouldn’t it take longer to decide than it takes to read the message? While we can connect quickly today, it still takes time to fully understand the intention of the sender. Comprehension requires actual consideration. I wonder if many of us are looking for confirmation of what we already believe, rather than a reasoned discussion of an issue.

There may be something deeper and perhaps darker here as well – the “magnetic desire for opposition.” Remember the elementary school magnets and the “field effect” where the two opposite poles would line up and snap together? Is there a similar effect in discourse? An individual makes a point, the field effect kicks in and people “click into opponency” while “understanding too quickly!” Nice, neat, immediate and probably incorrect. Too many “instant polar opposites” out there? So many “soul of evil” opponents... We're skeptical of any conclusion arrived at in seconds, or even minutes. Yet all over the public sphere, people begin speaking, others "understand them as enemies" – in nanoseconds. Apparently, the universe abounds with “field effects.” It’s emotionally satisfying to be “Right!” while simultaneously making others “Wrong;” but this magnetic desire tends to overpower reason or thoughtful response.

We fail to take time to reflect and consider fully not just what people are saying, but what they mean by it, and what their underlying intentions are. If we “understand the other side too quickly,” then allow the field effect to take over and place us into a neatly arranged opponency, we miss the chance to understand the depth of the other person’s reason and character. If we act too quickly, we might miss another person who has something to teach, a unique viewpoint or a gift of truthful perception.

Of course, we can find ourselves in the opposite situation – “clicking into instant support” before a complete thought has been expressed. Many times our friends and colleagues are likely to “gloss over” the nuances in our position.  While they are quick to express their commitment, they may not have grasped what they are being loyal to – and this unqualified overwhelming support does a grave disservice to a true position.

Conclusions: Poised for Outrage? Poised for Agreement? Instantly jumping to conclusions that support our pre-existing beliefs. It’s built into the human condition. Only time and consideration allow us to penetrate the depth of an argument. Black or white are easy to perceive – and often fall victim to the field effect. Shades of grey and nuanced logic require a certain depth of discernment that only comes with time.

What's the take-away?

As an individual: resolve not to interrupt. “Listen the other person out.” Allow the urge to react to pass before responding.

As a professional: recognize that a “perceived opponency or support” might be “artificial.” Take time to allow reason to work and suggest ways that both parties can win. We think that in corporate life, “slower is often better.”

As a family member: notice that in close emotional quarters, the field effect is always poised to position the other in an all too easy and all too satisfying position of “selected elected opponency.” Don't buy it. “Listen your sister, mate or partner out” and then allow reason – and a loftier purpose – to work.

Do everyone a service – hold out for the deep understanding. Few of us carry guns anymore, and this is no longer a western, but “Don't understand me so quickly!” is still great advice.